Copyright Infringement is Your Best Entertainment Value

July 25, 2007

negativlandcopyrightinfringement.jpg(image from the website of that notorious culture-jamming band, Negativland.)

Now that I have your attention with that mildly transgressive idea, I don’t have much to tell you.

A whole lotta stuff in my life is heating up right now (plus I’m becoming a lazy blogger), so the postings during the summer are going to be few and far between.

I state this only in a desperate bid to ward off any thoughts by my regular readers and blogroll buddies (all three of them), to keep me on the radar and on their blogrolls.

Quick stuff and random thoughts:

** This is how an excellent music blog, Electric Mud handled its summer blogging status: He simply posts, “Closed for the Summer.” I won’t go that far, but it’s pretty close to what I’m doing here.

general_patton.jpg ** I remember my parents taking the family to the George S. Patton Museum in Fort Knox, Ky. back in the late ’60s. In those days the museum was in an unglamorous, almost barracks-like warehouse-type building painted a faint green. On the walls above the windows (which were open during the summer; no air-conditioned comfort back then) were painted large scenes of Huey helicopters in action, tilted downward and ready to swoop on the Red enemy (and whomever or whatever else was in the way). Accompanying these images was some kind of banner or tagline that in my fading memory read something like: “The machines that are winning the war.”

It was as ludicrous then as it is now.

scotts-classic-mower.jpg ** Just bought myself a Scotts Classic non-gasoline, non-electric, good ol’-fashioned human-powered lawn mower. They’re officially known as “reel” mowers, but most people I know refer to them as “push” mowers, which doesn’t quite work ’cause even most gas mowers need pushing. I haven’t had time to do the whole yard with it, but a test run on a patch of grass was successful, Anyway, I remember my grandparents having their own version of this, a rusty old hulk hanging in the garage, unused for years. By then they had succumbed to the temptations of the infernal gas-powered machine…

…the machines that are winning the war on weeds and grass.

It was as ludicrous then as it is now.

tomatoes-1-month_0730-11pct.jpg ** After a scary June in which my first batches of tomatoes rotted on the vine and I had to throw out at least two dozen, the veggies have since come in mostly unscathed, starting around July 4 and since then I haven’t had to buy a tomato, and probably won’t have to until September or so. I have 20+ various tomato plants this year, the most I’ve ever planted, including yellow/orange varieties and cherry tomatoes.

tomato-plate_1001-12pct.jpgI used no chemicals at all, the garden is wholly organic, except for the fluoridated & chlorinated tap water I reluctantly had to use for watering due to the sparseness of rain this summer ’round these parts.

That’s led to some good healthy snackin’–and a fresh tomato with dinner every night.

I’m also harvesting the hottest jalapeno peppers I’ve ever tasted…

white-castle-demo1005-13pct.jpg** What you’re seeing here is a very rare occurrence: the demolition of a White Castle restaurant. This is the one that until last week stood at what is now the corner of Westport Road and Hurstbourne Lane. (A new store opened a few yards away; see my previous posting about that…).

white-castle-demo1007-14pct.jpg

I happened to be biking by when the demolition exposed the wall insulation. It’s amazing how many interesting things you can capture when biking around freely and armed with a digicam.

I know when I was driving a car, having the time or inclination to do something like this (when getting through the green light was the most important thing in the world) would not have been possible. The blinders are off…

I leave you with this shot taken from the parking lot of the Kroger at approximately the same location a few weeks ago (July 7, 2007):

parkinglot-2-7-7-07.jpg

Enjoy the summer.

-EG


100,000 Smackeroos; or at least, Hits

June 20, 2007

100000front.gifExpect by the end of the day or early tomorrow that this here blog will attain the milestone of 100,000 hits. We went online exactly four months and one week ago. If I had a dollar for each of those visits, I suspect I’d have something that looked like this impressive bill.

Alas, I do not. But mucho thanks for stopping by anyway.

-Evan G.


“Wives that Don’t Like Farts”

April 10, 2007

I knew it wfart-flame-tiny.jpgould come to pass; it was just a matter of time.

So far you folks have been, surprisingly, squeaky clean. You’ve used nice, wholesome G-rated words and phrases to find my blog: MP3 being the most common.

One of the most addictive aspects of having a blog is looking at your statistics throughout the dfart-book-small.jpgay: what words people are typing into Google to get to your site; which sites have linked to you and generated surfers to your blog; how many page views you’ve gotten that day, and so on. Is the stat chart going up or down or staying steady? Have any websites added me to their blogroll today? The blog stats know and tell all.

One person typed “Diana Rigg hot”—a certainly understandable inquiry—into Google or some other search engine, which led them to a recent entry I had posted about my fantasy chicks of the ’60s.

But what can we think or say about the person who typed the phrase: “wives that dont like farts” [sic], into a search engine? And more confoundingly to me, how did that string of words lead them to my blog? What motivated the inquiry in the first place is something I probably don’t want to know. Oh, the man’s poor wife…

fart-sexy-tiny.jpgObviously this intrigued me enough to write something about it and—ironically—in order to find images to illustrate this piece I had to go into Google’s image search engine and type—you guessed it, the same kind of search terms: farts, wives farts, fart face, and several similar combinations. No doubt someone checking search terms there is equally confounded.

Whatever the case, I’m pretty certain just from anedoctal and empirical observations that wives generally don’t like farts, or more precisely, farting husbands.

However, as it always does, the Internet yields up a darker subculture of people who do, in fact, find farting a turn on. One of the Google images I found fart-face-bush.jpglinked up to a site called “fartingsexy.com.” One quickfart-laura_bush-crop.jpg look at its homepage—with sphincter imagery and the proclamation, “Ladies That Like to Fart and Burp”—and I high-tailed it outta there (no pun intended). Oddly enough, now that this is written, it will make perfect sense that—when someone types “wives that don’t like farts” into Google—they will be directed straight here.

And they will be disappointed.

-Evan


The Wail and Howl of a Wounded WordPresser

March 30, 2007

I am in pain. The pain of a writer who just miscarried.

frustrated-writer.jpgThere it was, a brilliant, beautifully crafted post about politics and journalism. Timely, topical and neatly enhanced by my own personal experiences. I hit the “save and continue” editing button, but, whoa, I forgot to put a headline on the post. It’s gone. There’s no draft saved. I scroll back a page to see if it’s still there. Oh sweet relief. It is. I block copy it and save a safety to MS Word. I look at it in horror. It’s an earlier draft, one third complete and missing the carefully delineated, precisely worded argument in the middle. Still thinking I can find the completed draft, I scroll though the WordPress dashboard. Nothing. I make a half-hearted stab at “reconstruction.” I start with the last sentences first, because they are fresher in my mind. Maybe that way I can remember each sentence that led to the next. But it’s gone, faded like the fragments of a dream. I can’t do it. The moment—that early morning freshness and enthusiasm–has passed. The passion is gone. The fervor that drove it killed by helplessness and disappointment.

I learned a lesson: put a headline on the post, first thing. And that’s just what I did.

But I wish this hadn’t been my post for the day.

-Evan


Holy Crap! We’re a WordPress “Blog of the Day”!

March 26, 2007

chart-graph-up-arrow.jpgGravy Bread just made no. 73 in the WordPress top 100 “Growing Blogs” list for March 26, 2007! Thanks to all you guys and gals who’ve stopped by. A month ago, we were logging fewer than 10 reads a day. Now there have been two days this week when we had almost a thousand a day. A lot of Elvis fans seem to be enjoying my posting about showing some respect for “the King” and a lot more are enjoying the “Mega Super Mammoth MP3 Music Blog List.”

Ya’ll come back now, ya hear?

-Evan


What’s the Deal with Microsuck IE & WordPress?

March 8, 2007

If you’re using Microsuck’s Internet Exploder [yes, I meant to type it that way] as your browser, then you probably notice that on the home page of most WordPress blogs the categories/blogroll stuff in the right column all gets pushed down way to the bottom of the daily postings. wordpress-logo.jpg

First, let me implore you to cease using IE as your browser. Get something else, like Firefox, that works better with WordPress blogs.

In the various discussion boards addressing this problem I’ve seen about 10 million different reasons as to why this “lost” blogroll phenomenon happens, and just as many indecipherable solutions involving codecs and other stuff that makes my head hurt, especially since nobody ever walks you through the sconfused.jpgolution or tells you exactly where you’re supposed to access the WordPress page structure stuff to make these changes.

So, I don’t know who to blame for this problem: WordPress, for making something that isn’t compatible with what is presumably the world’s most-used web browser; or Microsuck; for once again managing to create a browser that can’t handle something that doesn’t bother all the other browsers.

internet-explorer-slashed.jpgFor now, I’m very disappointed that my blogroll stuff in the right column does not stay at the top like it should. Isn’t there an easy non-techie fix for this?

Anyway, stop using IE for starters.

-Evan