a million doesn’t mean much

Sometime in the last few months this blog logged a million hits. I was not here to see this milestone, a marker that should have excited me. I couldn’t have cared any less than if it had been an Entertainment Tonight report on Kim Kardashian’s shoe collection. I would like to make the time to work more on the site. To scribe thoughtful musings and observations about the world, from my own skewed and presumably unique perspective. To regularly update the woefully neglected and yet somehow still popular Mega Super Mammoth music blog list–which is the real hit-puller on this blog. But, I just don’t have the heart for it. I started this thing with great enthusiasm and energy but things radically shifted; my priorities were upended, my sense of things passing too fast heightened, and thus my panic at the growing feeling of powerlessness and the realization of myriad regrets became too overwhelming to ignore. I had been toying with time, was still toying with time, and still am toying with time, and time is laughing at my arrogant devaluation of it, and now I can hear the laughter but can only tap dance and hope I’m not making myself too much a fool in the performance. Anyway, this is all a subterfuge and a diversionary way of saying that I have no idea if I’ll ever really be back here, in spite of what I may have said over at Mega Super Mammoth. I spend about 100 percent of my online time now over at Goodreads, where I engage with mostly intelligent people whose tastes for books and for knowledge help to sustain me and fill all the online socializing needs I will likely ever need. But, I’m keeping this place open. I still have all of my good poetry posted here, and maybe I’ll post a thought or two here, now and again.

3 Responses to a million doesn’t mean much

  1. Andrey says:

    Recently you have not updated your blog.
    Soon the number of visitors reached 1.5 million.
    I think many of them children who love music.
    Thank you.

    • gravybread says:

      I’m sorry for the lack of updates. There were other major priorities in my life that have put the site on a long hiatus and it makes me feel bad, because I know it can and should be much better. I want to get back to overhauling it someday.

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