Who Put the Jizz on My (TARC) Bus Seat

Attention, all executives of Transit Authority of River City (of Louisville, Ky.)

I invite all of you to abandon your secluded desks for a day and take a ride on some of your buses.

I would especially recommend the No. 4 line that runs up and down Fourth Street.

I would recommend that you find the seats that look like someone took hot tar off the street and ground it up into the seats and then took some dusty dirt clods and sprinkled and mashed those on top of the tar and for good measure drizzled various mystery food substances atop those. (Pix to come.)

Or, any other disgusting seat among the many available would do fine.

These are the seats that people on crowded buses are forced to take, and which never, apparently, get cleaned.

tarc-100_0171-15perc.JPG

It’s a good thing that bus rides are boring because that allows me to kill some time by documenting with my trusty camera some of the interesting mystery seat dirt I see on TARC buses.

I really would recommend that you, TARC executives, hop aboard one of your buses in your best clean and pressed business slacks and sit your big fat asses hard and fast right down into this choice seat muck.

Then go back to your offices and sit the same big fat ass clad in the same slacks down into your executive chair—which you no doubt would then send out for fumigation.

tarc-100_0170-20perc.JPG

I will entertain any suggestions as to what today’s interesting mystery TARC bus seat substance is. Could be that one of the raincoat-clad schizo passengers was having a little too much fun with himself and had an “accident.”

But I’m open to any other guesses.

One thing requires no guessing: TARC is too lazy to have someone check to make sure its seats are fit for passengers before its buses depart each morning. How many minutes does it take to take a damp rag to at least some of the more egregious examples? This white slime was obviously of recent origin and could have been cleaned in no time. Now it’s going to get ground into the seat and become harder to remove.

 

Any TARC executive game to grind some mystery jizz into your trousered rump? Evidently people sitting on crap is the only way it’s going to get “cleaned.”

-Evan

clarence-thomas150.jpg(P.S.—So far I haven’t found any pubic hairs on my seat. I will leave that to this guy).


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3 Responses to Who Put the Jizz on My (TARC) Bus Seat

  1. Dave in KY says:

    Funny, because just the other day I hopped on the #23 with a member of TARC’s board of directors, and he was indeed wearing his suit.

    I don’t think you should blame TARC, I think you should exert social pressure on the slobs to get them to clean up their act.

  2. G.I. Joe says:

    I uhhh, well this one really huge fat guy on the way back from dixie hwy going to downtown louisville of course decided to poop himself, on the indiana side done lady was cussing me called me everything but a white boy figures right, anyways the jpd decided to haul that chic off into a squad car

    • gravybread says:

      I’m pretty sure some lady shit herself standing in the aisle on a very crowded 4th St bus when I was a passenger a few years back and the stench was not pretty and there was a real hubbub over it, almost a riot. The bus driver had completely lost control of the situation.

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